Contemplation
by Miss Riss
Summary: Complete!
1. Prologue

                                            _…Contemplation …_

**Name**- Rissa :-D__

**Disclaimer**- I am trying to work out a deal with Chad's executives to sign some legal documents with me, but for now I don't own anything but the mere characters I add and maybe my idea.

**Story**- _Contemplation:_ reflection of life. 

**Summary**- Lucas receives life altering news and the worse thing is the only person that could help is none other than…Dan, his father.

**Setting**-the seniors of Tree Hill are to be graduating in 2 months.__

**Parings**- Not so sure of the pairing just yet…read on a find out.

**A/N- **Please review and tell me if I'm going way over my head with this story. It's just the Prologue so tell me if I should keep going. Thanks.

                                                    …Prologue…

_Journal_

_The big gap between reality and delusion begins and ends in a metaphor; A metaphor of change, fear, pain and sanity. When one comes to say that life is not so complex, but beautiful beyond the center of what our two eyes can see, then in my eyes they're delusional. Not delusional because they believe that reality is full of essence, but hysterical because they also believe that reality isn't as rough as one would word it. I come to laugh every time I hear that reality is essentially astonishing, sarcasm departs my lips and disdain relaxes on my tongue. When you discover that one true thing that you are able to say 'this is why I'm alive' don't be to thrilled cause sooner or later, the mere fixation that caused you to find glory within your self, shall be nothing more than a enemy between you and sanity. Once you could honestly claim to be content, your spirit shall be ripped away and never to be seen again. That ladies and gentlemen is reality. _

_Life's a bitch…_

_-Lucas Scott _
    
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    Interest you? Let me know. To my loyal fans of _unconsciously sleeping with the enemy_, I'm hoping you enjoy my serious side as well. Although, this will be slightly comedic and what not; because I live for laughter! 


	2. Dishonesty

                                            _…Contemplation …_

**Chapter**

_Dishonesty _

**A/N- **Hope you like this story…Please review and show me some support. Constructive criticism accepted. 

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_Monday April 2nd _

_The façade of a person who doesn't want to be discovered is sometimes thicker than solid ice. Nathan Scott is not the person I assumed he was, nor the person he pretended to be. It took months of jealousy, hate and torment, but finally we came to reconciliation.  We began to understand each other, in the struggle to please our father… Well, more along the lines of Nathan trying to please him, but things change. People change…_

_Luke. S_

_* _

The silence that filled the classroom was deafening, but she still couldn't concentrate. Scanning over the test once more she sighed, _why is it so hard for me to focus? _

Recently everything had been anomalous, actually everything was always abnormal, but it was different now. The past months went by rather rapidly, the Scott brother's began to get along, Peyton was doing her best at being 'open' and Brooke was minding her own business. _So what changed? _Haley James sighed, finishing up the last remaining questions and flipping her paper over. Thoughts flooded to her head and worry seeped through her veins as she recognized exactly what was unusual. _Lucas. _

The bell rang, the one that every student groaned hearing, because it had the tendency of shrieking in his or her eardrums. Haley cursed silently to her self, making sure she let the principal know he was taking the chance of affecting their hearing. 

She walked down the hall, impatiently as usual. Loading all of the heavy books into her locker and grabbing her coat. She slammed the locker shut, meeting eyes with the person who was leaning on the locker beside her. 

"Hey Luke," she embraced him in a quick hug, feeling him tense on her. "What's wrong?" she arched her eyebrow, a hand gliding up the side of his face and circling the soft skin of his cheek. 

He relaxed into her touch, looking her in the eyes and decided not to do _it. _"Nothing, I'm fine." 

She smiled unsurely, "You lying?" 

He chuckled softly, "Of course not." 

"Good," she studied his features once more, taking in the way his eyes mellowed and his form has changed slightly. She ignored it, shaking her head; _nothing's wrong. _"So um? Do you want to get something to eat?" 

He ran his fingers through his hair, "I cant." His reply was simple, his voice distant. 

"Yes you can," She encouraged, "After all being a senior has its benefits, off school ground lunches." Her voice was cheery and a smile formed on her lips. 

"Peyton asked if she could speak with me," he sighed, "Again." 

Haley's features softened, she furrowed her eyebrows and said, "What do you think she'll say this time?" 

"I don't know," he exhaled again, "But I have to go."

She sighed, forced a smile and nodded her head, "Okay." 

"You'll be fine?" He asked, starting to walk off.

"Of course," She said and muttered '_I hope you'll be fine' _under her breath, watching his retreating figure. 

________________________

"Can you hand me that calculator?" Haley locked eyes with her textbook, determination expanding in her features. 

"Haley?" Nathan switched his observation from his article to her. 

"Yes?" She asked, her eyes meeting his. 

It had become a regular; they would meet at each other's house after school or during lunch to go over work. Haley, months ago, got Nathan on his feet and now he was practically tutoring her…well not really, but he didn't need help nonetheless. Let's just say he tutored her in _diverse_ things. 

"Have you talked to Lucas?" He furrowed his eyebrows, a somber expression coming over him.

She returned the look curiously, "Yes, why?" 

He shrugged, crossing his arms to his chest, "He's been acting different lately."

_Bingo_. She put down the textbook and contemplated the week's events. "You've noticed too?" 

He responded with a sigh and a slight nod, "It's as if he's avoiding me."

"Same here." Haley locked her fingers together, "What do you think is wrong?" 

He heaved a sigh, took his cell phone from his pocket and said, "I don't know, but I'm sure Peyton does." 

____________________________

What's another word for dishonesty? _Deceitfulness. _

"Peyton, you lied to me," his voice was weary and he rubbed his eyes sleepily.

It didn't go unnoticed by her; she arched her eyebrow, "is everything really okay with you?" 

"Do you really care?" he asked bitterly. 

She sighed at his words, hating the disdain that leaked from his voice. "How many times do I have to tell you I do?" 

"Until I start believing it." 

"Lucas…" hesitantly she looked in his eyes, "did you tell Haley yet?" 

He shook his head, "I expect you to keep it a secret as well."

"Nathan keeps calling me." She tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "Their worried about you." 

Silence

_Deceitfulness. _"I hope you haven't told them too." 

His words tore at her heart and the feeling; lack of conviction from Lucas hurt more than anything. "I haven't," she muttered softly, avoiding his now seemingly tiresome blue eyes. 

"Good," he mumbled, opening her front door and heading out. 

She pursued him, "Luke wait." 

"What?" 

"Can't we talk?" 

"I asked you a favor and you deceived me." He shook his head, looking anywhere but her. "I asked you not to tell anyone and the next thing you know my mom is worried." 

"She needed to know," she said sternly, anger parting from her tongue. "Why do you think that no one needs to know? She's your mother for god sake and Haley is your best friend. Excuse me if I go and tell your brother, then you'll really hate me." Her words were sarcastic, but never lacked disparagement. 

"I don't hate you," he muttered softly, "I can't ever hate you and would never think of it." 

Their eyes met, both exhaling frustrated air. 

She walked over to him, lightly placing her small hand in his big one. She entwined his fingers with hers and nodded, "Good, because I'm not going anywhere." 

______________________________

_I guess you can say I've always been timid to live my life to the fullest. I've always hid in my little corner with Haley close beside me, but sometimes those corners that we confide aren't enough and were meant for better things. Even when your world is torn apart and you loose everything precious to you, eventually you realize no matter what that there is always someone out there, someone to hold your hand; easing the pain._

_-__Lucas Scott _

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Tell me what you think and I know it's short. If you know me by now then you know my chapters are always short. Please REVIEW! Need support here… 


	3. Revelation

_Contemplation  _

Chapter 

Revelation 

**AN**: My idea might not seem that much original, what is in fan fiction any more? Hopefully, through out the story you come to find that it's more intriguing. Review… 

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_April 5th _

_Honesty is a quality that mostly everybody tends to lack, either because they fear others to know of the truth or just as a cover up for selfish reasons. I came to realize the difference between a lie and being deceitful. A lie **could** be for the better, where deceit is plain treacherous. Although, the highest level of deceit is of yourself, lying to yourself that everything is going to be all right and you know that is not entirely true. Revelation is honesty of your inner emotions and no longer sustaining the temporary scorn._

____________________________________________________________________ 

"What's this all about?" Nathan grabbed Haley's hand and led her over to the couch. 

"I don't know," she looked over to Lucas entering the room and nodded, "but we'll find out." 

"What's going on? Why are we here Luke?" Nathan looked curiously at his older brother.

The eldest sighed, looking from Haley and back to his brother with pleading eyes. "Listen… I know that I've been acting different lately and I want you to know why." 

"Luke, is this about the scene from two weeks ago?" Haley frowned slightly, "Because if it is you shouldn't be worried, I've seen you in your under wear countless times." 

Nathan now turned his attention to his blabbering girlfriend, "You have?" 

Her cheeks blushed slightly, "Is it?" she asked, turning back to Lucas. 

He chuckled dryly, "I wish it was Hales, I wish it was." 

"Well then what is it?" Nathan arched his eyebrow, looking back at his girlfriend before saying, "If it isn't my girlfriend seeing you countless times naked?" 

"I wasn't naked, besides I didn't even remember that." He smiled softly, ignoring the glare he received from his brother. Jealousy never fades, he thought with a sigh. "I don't want you to make a big deal of this, but I have a liver disease. My doctors claimed to have no idea how they missed it, but apparently I'm having liver failure." He blew out a breath of air, leading himself to sit down on the chair and watching blank stares from the other side of the room. 

Anger seeped through her features and she stood up in a huff. "Don't make too big of a deal of this? Are you crazy?" She sighed, a sarcastic yet bitter smile forming on her lips. "Oh it's official the eldest Scott brother has gone over the edge." Unexpectedly tears started to sting at her eyes and she sat back down before she fell unconscious. 

"Are you serious?" was all that Nathan could spit out. 

Lucas exhaled sharply, walking over to Haley and standing before her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up, into a strong embrace.  

Nathan watched, astonished as his girlfriend's body started to tremble in sobs; watched as his brother's eyes welled up with tears and he couldn't wrap his mind around it.  Lucas was only eighteen, eighteen; he thought. 

"You're selfish," she cried, "why didn't you tell me?" Another set of violent tears hit her body and she pulled him tighter into her. "Why are you so selfish?"

He held her closely, hushing her and kissing her forehead as the tears undoubtedly fell. Remembering exactly why he didn't want to tell her in the first place. 

_______________________________________________________________________ 

"Mom, what did he do to deserve this?" he crossed the room, tracing the same path for a while. 

"It's sad," Deb fought the tears in her eyes. "What did Karen think?"

"I don't know," Nathan sighed, sitting down on a chair. "He's so young and how could the doctors miss it?" 

"Well," Deb bit her lip, "Sometimes things like this happen and his liver isn't fully failed yet, right?" 

He glanced at her, quickly looking elsewhere. "Not yet," he replied finally. "Haley's torn apart." 

"I bet she is," his mother frowned, "You look it too." 

He just softly gave a nod, looking up at the person who brought him into this world. 

"They want to test certain people for the family and close friends, something about surgery for his liver. If there's a match for Lucas, they want to do surgery to take half of the donors liver and give it to Luke." He sighed heavily, "That's if they find a match and they said it's a dangerous surgery." 

"Well, then there's still hope." 

He forced a small smile, letting it drift away with worried eyes. "What if the doctors can't help him?" 

She looked at her son, immediately noticing the silent tears forming in his eyes. 

"What's going to happen?" his voice cracked. 

His mother frowned once more, sympathy in her eyes. She walked quickly to her son and brought him in her arms. "It's okay to cry," she reassured him, bringing his chin up with her finger. 

____________________________________________________________ 

_Some people hide their selves, but eventually they end up hiding from life. They claim it's order for them to survive temporary insanity around them, but I think otherwise; I think it's because they don't want any one to know that deep down inside they feel pain just like everyone else._

_L.S _

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Did it suck? I know it was short, what's new. Yes, it was pretty predictable, but I have a lot of ideas and again I say, what isn't predicable any more? REVIEW! 


	4. Misconception

_Contemplation _

Chapter 

Misconception 

**AN**: _First of all, I would just like to say thank you to my readers and secondly I want to dedicate this story to my brother, Troy Perry. Growing up was hard enough with prolonged struggles and what not, but it became harder once I reached a certain age. When my little brother Troy was born, the unthinkable happened and everyone grew hysterical. He was diagnosed with Biliary Atresia, which is a possibly fatal liver disease. It affected everything from his eyes and teeth, growth stimulation, also other organs. From the day he was out of the hospital he had to feed through tubes and receive checkups, very apprehensively. He was only three when the doctors warned my mother about his serious condition. Luckily, my mother and Troy went to Chicago for three months, to seek out well-trained physicians. Now, the day of the year that Troy received his liver, my family lights candles and thanks god for his blessing; for if Troy hadn't received the liver when he did, he would have passed. Troy is a quite intelligent nine year old and most of all, he's finally safe. _

_I know that you probably don't care too much, but I do understand a lot about what happened with him. I wanted to share my brother's experience with you and let you see where I'm coming from with this story. Just letting you know that this story does mean a lot to me and I do write it from my heart._

Anyway, enough of my dramatics, I love you and I hope you like this chapter. Oh and **Skat, **hun your spoiling my ideas *sniff… 

*I decided I wanted to put chapter 4 and 5 together, because frankly I don't write enough and these chapters go with each other. Enjoy! 

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_April 8th _

_She exhaled softly, leading her hand up to my cheek and kissed me lightly. Her eyes pleaded with mine and begged for me to stay. It's not my choice, I whispered to her gently. I still feel her eyes locked on mine, burning for me to tell her it's all an illusion and I still hear her soft whimpers, watching the silent tears steadily roll from her eyes. I remain completely silent and watch one the most relevant people—tremble. Coaxing her to sleep, I deliberately kissed her forehead and inwardly apologize for my misconception. _

____________________________________________________________________ 

"Cirrhosis," Haley said slowly, "Lucas has a form of Liver Cirrhosis, which is the result of inflation of his scarred liver." 

A shiver worked its way through Jake's body and he felt the need to sit down. He watched as tears started to flee from her eyes and she crossed her arms to her chest, suppressing the sets of tears the best she could. Getting up, he brought her into his arms and hugged her softly. She relaxed against him and wiped the trail of tears away. 

Pulling back, he whispered, "I heard, but I didn't know if it was true. Where is he now?" 

"Peyton's …" she drifted off into her words, thinking about what would happen if Lucas didn't receive a liver on time. 

"Earth to Haley." Jake smiled softly, bringing his waving hands back down to his sides. 

"Sorry, what did you say?" She asked, avoiding her previously thoughts. 

"How is Nathan handling this?" 

The name flashed in her mind, _Nathan. _He hadn't called her all night and she failed to notice his morning absence. She bit her bottom lip, and scurried off to find a phone. 

_______________________________________________________________________ 

Meanwhile… 

"Hey sleepy head," Lucas smiled, sliding the curls to the side of her face. 

She yawned, returning the comforting smile and lightly kissing him on the lips. "How you feeling?" 

He winced slightly, looking away. "Baby, I told you I'll be fine," he sighed, shifting his position and moving slightly away from her. 

She frowned momentarily and cuddled beside him. "I'm sorry Luke, you just look so flush." 

Lucas detested how well she knew him, inside and out. It occasionally made him scornful when she wouldn't let go of her _assumptions_. She didn't really assume, more like knew, but still he despised it at times. 

"What are you thinking?" she asked, snapping him out of thoughts. 

His eyes started to go lazy and he fought back the sensation to close them. Looking back over to her, he exhaled, "I'm f—," 

Abruptly, he started to grasp at his abdominal and he cringed in pain, not being able to suppress the sudden stacks of coughs that hit his body. 

Peyton jumped up from the bed, biting her bottom lip. "Luke!" she screamed, worries written all over her face. 

He collapsed off the bed, bile and waste started to excuse them selves from his body. He couldn't stop the flow of blood that was trailing from his mouth. Trying to breathe, he stood steadily and looked over to Peyton, when a cluster of blood provoking coughs came over his body once again. 

_____________________________________________________________________ 

"Nathan?" she smiled into the phone, softly tugging on the stands of hair that fell in her face. 

"Hales, how's everything?" 

"Why aren't you in school?" she frowned, "I was starting to worry." 

He shrugged, "everything's fine baby, I just didn't feel like going." 

She bit her bottom lip. _Yep, he was taking it hard, _"Oh, have you talked to Lucas?" 

He sighed, a frown coming over his features. "Um…" a beeping came into the phone and he smiled, being able to avoid her question. "Hold on baby, there's another line." 

"Okay," she responded sadly. 

"Yo?" he replied dryly. 

"Nathan," the voice responded shakily. 

Nathan sat up straight, a shiver traveling his spine. "Peyton?" 

_____________________________________________________________________ 

"What happened?" Haley yelled, walking along side Nathan. 

"I don't know," Peyton cried, hands over her face. "He just—started to cough up blood and then he collapsed. I didn't know what to do; I couldn't drive with him this way. I called Keith, he rushed Luke to the hospital and I—," he lip trembled, tears rapidly started to fall from her face. 

Haley scrunched up her face, immediately allowing the tears to fall. She walked over to Peyton and brought her into a hug. 

Nathan sat down, unable to deal with what was going on, he closed his eyes. 

"I got here as soon as I could," Karen called, making her way into the waiting room. 

Keith stood up, seeing the fresh coat of tears already starting in her eyes. 

"Some one please tell me that my son will be okay," she pleaded and broke down in immoral suffering.

Keith wiped the tears from her eyes, "Karen, you have to be strong for him."

"Ms. Scott?" the doctor asked, clearing his throat. 

"No. My son has his fathers last name," she sighed and dried the tears from her cheeks. "Are you the new doctor?"

He replied with a nod and adjustment of his glasses. 

Karen twitched, bringing her arms to cross her chest. "Is he okay?" 

"Well, he's almost stable, but I'm afraid he'll be unconscious for a while. The lose of blood was tremendous and if he didn't get to the hospital when he did—," the doctor paused, looking at all the teary faces in the room, "let's just say he made it in at the right time." 

"Can we go see him?" Nathan sat up in his chair, surprising everybody by his soft tone. 

The doctor sighed, "Yes, but only one at a time for now." 

Karen's eyes started to swell up with tears again. She took Nathan's hand, squeezing slightly, "You go." 

He shook his head, looking at her with questioning eyes. "No, I'll go later; I know how much he means to you." 

"And I know how much you mean to him," she smiled softly, gesturing him to listen to her. 

He gave a gentle nod, squeezing her hand slightly, before letting go and disappearing behind the room door. 

The doctor turned to Karen, "I'm afraid that we don't have too much time." 

Karen remained silent, fighting the urge to collapse to the floor in sobs. 

"We need to find a match quickly, were working on out of the family donors, but it doesn't look too good," the doctor continued. 

"When can we get tested?" Keith asked, stepping into view. 

"As soon as possible," the doctor sighed, "would you two young ladies like to be tested as well?" he looked over to Peyton and Haley. 

They responded silently, with a nod of their head. 

"Okay, as soon as you all have time to think about it, let me know and I'll get right on it." He smiled reassuringly, "You have to be completely sure that you would donate, because liver surgery is highly dangerous and not only to Lucas, but the donator as well." 

They all quieted, but Karen gave a nod. "I would do anything for my son," she responded, breaking the thick silence. 

"Okay, well the rest of you think about it and maybe we should test Lucas's father as well." 

___________________________________________________________________ 

_When all is lost and you think that there's no one in the world that cares, you come to find you were completely wrong. Misconception. The fact that someone is willing to chance his or her life to give you the strength to breathe, is truly touching. It's unbelievable how some people care so much and you wouldn't even know it, until something tragic happens. It takes something completely depressing to bring the good of people out. The cycle of a mother and their child, doesn't fail to amuse me. I look at how they risked their lives bringing their children into this world and how they would gladly accept the same, bringing them back to life… _

_L.Scott_

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Now on to the next chapter…enjoy

Chapter 

Decree 

**AN**: Yes, the journal entries are basically based on the show and I positively love the idea. In the end, Lucas reveals the moral and the point of the episode, recently dealing with acts of a person. Thank you for the reviews and I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Again, I want to say thanks to the readers that commented on my brother, I really appreciated that. Review… 

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_April 8th _

_Decree, the word could simply stand by itself and humans would still arch eyebrows in fascination. Is decree a simple promise or a verdict of evaluation? In some paths yes, but to me it's much more. It's a full elaborate confession, a declaration straight from the core, involving unconfused certainty and a solemn inclusive pledge. Decree, is an intricate form of blatant respect and should be cherished not chastised._

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_Nathan's P.O.V _

_Animosity._

Not toward the unconscious figure steadily adjacent me, but toward the man that deposited his wrath, the man _above_ me. 

The person next to me was the only person that's smile nearly blinded my world, the smile that barely did _smile_. The smile that taught me that just _maybe_ they're candidly was a god above which such power. The only smile, which taught me that façade could be seen if looking hard enough, that only smile was now sprawled out in a hospital bed, breathing through tubes and machines, prison to the chance of life. _Prison to the above_. 

_What's fair about that? _

_He never asked for this, never pleaded to be—punished. _

I thought god was supposed to be fair, but is it honestly fair that such a devoted individual should be inhaling for dare existence? Was it fair that someone so precious, to many, was being ripped away, deprived from… _me_?  

Animosity? _I believe so…_

After we came to reconciliation and he looked at me faintly, smiled, forgave me for everything I've burdened him with, he was being stolen. After all he's done for me, forgiveness was not the only of his gracious gifts and he doesn't even know that I appreciate, wish that I could repay him some how. 

_This is the only way… _

Through my presence, I am hoping, he will wake up to the tears that try escaping my eyes and see that I really do feel his blood running through my veins. 

__________________________________________________________________

Dan's P.O.V

_My son… in the hospital_? There must have been a mistake, a mix up; I talked to my son on the phone yesterday. _He was fine wasn't he_? He sounded perfectly normal and wasn't acting stiff or portraying pain, _or was he_? 

I shook my head brutally, placing the phone on the receiver. 

_No, It can't be. _

Realization started running through my head and I gasped. 

It's Lucas, not Nathan; it couldn't be Nathan, which means it has to _be Lucas_. 

__________________________________________________________________ 

All I could do is wait, watch him sleep and believe that he's going to wake up soon; believe that he's having a good dream and he'll wake up, wanting to play football. 

But, No, it's not that simple; life is _never_ simple. 

I wonder if I'm thinking too negative, he could be all right, _cant he_? 

_I wait. _

Wishing he would wake up so I could lay down my façade and explain to him how I really feel. Dept, we never crossed that line, we simply stuck together, no questions asked and no questions pondered. At least, that's how I believe Lucas is with me, because if he did think thoroughly, maybe he would have never forgiven me. The point is, I never honestly said 'sorry', never spoke the words, we just knew—he knew and reconciled. Which makes him a hundred times the person than me. _A hundred times_. What doesn't the higher power understand? 

_Take me, not Lucas. _

I silently make a promise to my rapidly decaying brother. 

_Not decaying_, I hate that word. 

_Passing_? Whatever, I just guarantee and give him what's left of me. Anything that's needed, blood, a heart, my spine, he could have it; after all—precious people belong on earth and he deserves to breathe more than I do. 

Finally, all balled up emotions—disdain, confusion and pain, leaked away, with a single flutter of my eyelid. 

The fragment of emotion fell upon _his_ arm, slowly evaporating into his skin and parting with my vision. 

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How did you like it? I know, not any dialogue, but I just simply loved it this way. Don't worry, next chapter will be longer and include dialogue. Please Review … 


	5. Transitory

_Contemplation _

Chapter 

Transitory 

**AN**: Thanks for all the wonderful support, again. I really enjoy writing this story and I hope you enjoy it as well. Take the time to review please; I would really appreciate it. Oh and to the reviewer who asked about my other story '_unconsciously sleeping with the enemy' _its rated R, sorry hunny. Go check it out. __

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_April 8th, _

_'False hope is temporary comfort.'- __Samantha Barrett_

_I seem to find my self fixated on such a mere line, getting rapped up in the illusions of 'maybe' and 'for now'. The simple relinquishment of pain, subsiding of reality, could change all aspects of the present and that ladies and gentlemen—is an effortless way out._

_L.S_

_______________________________________________________________________________

"I got a call," his tone fluctuated as he spoke, facing a group of overwhelmed and frankly tired people. 

When no one answered and he received blank stares, he opened his mouth to speak again.

"What are you doing here?" Keith stood up, anger rising in his voice. 

Karen sighed, tears resurfacing in her eyes. "Don't," she held up her hand sternly, "we don't need a fight now, not when Lucas is fighting for his life."

A pain jabbed through Dan's body and he suppressed the feeling to sit down, but a tinge of relief exhaled from his lips. "So it is Lucas?"

Karen's eyes welled up one last time, fighting the urge to break away, she simply sighed and implicated with a nod. "Don't sound too happy." 

Something surpassed through his body at the moment and he opened his mouth to speak, rid his self of turmoil, unfortunately being again, interrupted.

"I suspect your Mr. Scott?" The doctor offered a hand, sighing slightly at the shaken up man in front of him. 

"Yes." Dan held out his hand, stealing a glance at Karen; who still glared at him with disdain. 

"I assume they've already filled you in," he gestured to the others and continued, "Actually, I'm here because I've got some good news." 

Immediately, tension started to grip at her body and her heart seemed to stay frozen, awaiting the doctor's message. "What is it Dr.?" Karen inwardly shivered, trying her best to keep up her façade in front of her ex love. 

A faint, but fairly noticeable, smile worked its way on the doctor's lips. "I don't want to get hopes too high and I definitely don't want to see anyone thanking god just yet, but it seems that we've found a donor." 

______________________________________________________________________________

"Lucas," he was having a difficult time swallowing the mass that clogged in his throat, "you need to wake up." 

Silence 

"Everyone misses you and I think Haley's getting dizzy pacing," he chuckled dryly, eyes plastered on the door and looked back to his sleeping brother. "Peyton," he arched his eyebrow and sighed, "well she's acting strange and don't get me wrong, I can see why, but her sobs never seem to end." 

Silence 

"You would hate it," a simple sigh, "your mother is here and she's being rather strong, maybe it's the help from uncle Keith, I don't know," he shrugged. "They need you Luke, they really do and I don't know how long they're going to last with you breathing this way. I'm telling you, wake up and end this sorrow, it's for the best and maybe I could get Haley to calm down," his eyes fixated to a spot on the wall, "maybe I could calm my self down." 

"What was that," a slight cough, leading with a low, raspy voice, "little brother?" 

Nathan's focus now followed the sound, _I'm not crazy, _he thought. 

"Lucas?" he asked arching his eyebrow, wide eyes confirming his confusion. 

"No, it's Santa clause," he coughed, but still softly smiled. 

Nathan squeezed his hand slightly, before letting go and allowing himself a small smile. "Don't scare me like that," he huffed above a whisper. "How much of that did you hear?" he asked suddenly interested in his shoes or perhaps the cold floor beneath him. 

"Nate, where's Peyton? I know she must have been hysterical after what happened." He tensed up, ignoring his brother's previous question. 

Nathan gestured his head toward the door, "yeah she took it pretty hard, but you're awake now." 

Lucas closed his eyes, swallowing the pain that developed in his throat. "Yeah," he muttered simply. 

"Your fine now, right?" Nathan tensed up, but he knew the answer; he wasn't stupid, but he could hope, couldn't he? 

The eldest brother opened his eyes, a reassuring smile forming on his lips. "Since when did you worry so much?" he chuckled with a sigh, "my throats dry, I need something to drink." 

Nathan responded with a nod, knowing his brother was blowing his question off, but again, it didn't matter because he knew the answer. "I'll go tell the doctor your awake and have a nurse come bring you something. Your voice does sound horrible," he joked, before disappearing from the room. 

______________________________________________________________________________

The voice was unmistakable one of the sternest voices he's ever heard, _ever. _It could only belong to—

"Dad?" Nathan shut the door behind him, looking his father up and down, disgust seeping through his features. "What are you doing here?" 

"You sound like Keith," he gestured to his 'brother', "I'm glad your okay." 

"Yeah, in turn of Lucas is not," venom leaked from his voice and he sighed, not wanting to argue this moment. "He's awake," he announced. 

"W-what?" Karen's heart pounded fast in its cage, "Is he okay?" 

A simple nod and a gesture to the doctor, "he wants some orange juice, it's his favorite." 

"Thank god," was muttered from sighing mouths in the room and Peyton wiped her eyes gratefully. 

"Good, now the surgery should be more successful with his breathing at a normal pace," with that the doctor smiled and walked away, speaking to a nurse before disappearing into another corridor.

"Surgery?" Nathan asked quizzical. 

"It seems that they've found a donor, a person died last week and matched Lucas," Keith exhaled softly, a smile passing his lips. "They're going to bring Lucas in for surgery tomorrow, but the surgery may be transitory, no one knows for sure." 

___________________________________________________________________________ 

She ran her fingers through his soft hair, massaging gently as she passed skin with her fingers. _Content. _

Haley always knew how to ease his tension. 

He relaxed into the feel of her fingers dancing on his skin and sighed in relief, knowing she was there for him. _Content_. 

____________________________________________________________________________ 

"Please," he pleaded, his eyes soft and apologetic, "please stop crying." 

She exhaled sharply, her body trembling by another set of tears. "I'm sorry," she sighed, choking on her words. 

He frowned, not wanting her to feel like a burden. "Come here, come here," he gently stroked her hair, kissing the crown on her head. 

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, tightly clinging on to his shirts as vicious sobs shook her body. 

"It's okay, it's okay," Lucas hushed her, "look at me Peyt," he held up her chin with his finger and their eyes met. "You have no reason to be sorry, I love you, okay?" 

_____________________________________________________________________________

_Maybe all we ever really need is that temporary amount of comfort. The content ness and just knowing that while someone's still there, everything will be fine…for now. _

_L. Scott. _

____________________________________________________________________________ _

I would really appreciate reviews; this is just the beginning. 


	6. Effete

_Contemplation _

Chapter 

Effete 

**AN**: I often find my self-falling, most of the time contemplating whether I'm good enough to be writing for readers, but nevertheless I try. I try because deep inside my core I know that in the complex world of writing, I have some place, if not large than small and that brings me hope. I just hope you (my readers) know how much I appreciate reviews, this fic being not all fiction, but some what personal. Thanks… __

________________________________________________________________________

_April 26th, _

_There are times when things should work out, but they don't and it leaves one to wonder why time was wasted, praying that it would. The intensity of realization, finding that something that was supposed to work out, in fact hasn't, brings great tribulations and the weakness in all comes out of confinement. ___

_Scott _

_______________________________________________________________________________

Furrowed eyebrows and the essence of mocha-flavored eyes, met slightly weary, ivy eyes. "You got out of the hospital three days ago, are you sure your ready for a group of nosy, harassing teenagers?" Sarcasm seeped from her tongue, but her expression was serious, hands rested at the hips and worry clouding beautiful features. 

"Hales, my dear best friend," he chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. "You worry too much, you know that?" he cupped her cheeks with his hands, looking into her vivacious eyes. "I want to be normal, okay? If that means a whole bunch of alcoholic, frankly wild, adolescents, to get me back to normal, so be it, right?" 

She smiled into his embrace, missing his warmth, shuddering at the thought of him being so cold…in his deathbed. "Okay," she said finally, shaking off previous thoughts. "If you say so Scott, but so help me, if I come to find that your suffering an insipid time, I will have to brand you 'dumb ass' for the rats of your life and if I'm in charge, that will defiantly be a very long time." 

He winced, mock pain. "Wow, that's harsh, but I assure you James, I will be back to normal in no time and we could sit in the corner of the party, scowling at every snob that crosses our path; in the mean time, have fun too, okay?" 

She responded with a nod, beaming at her re-found friend. "How's your lover girl?" 

"She's… strange?" he chuckled, masking his face with confusion.

Haley sighed, grabbing her coat. "Yeah, so much for getting involved with the opposite sex, huh?" 

He frowned, playfully pushing her and making his way to the door, "is Nathan that bad that you want to beat his ass and maybe date the extravagant Peyton?" 

She opened the door and stepped outside, thought for a moment, mockingly. "No," shook her head, "that's your type, and I would choose Brooke instead."

_________________________________________________________________

"Happy eighteenth birthday Marissa!" she embraced the petite brunette in her arms. "Here," she smiled, handing the girl a gift. 

"Thank you Haley, your too kind," the girl smiled sincerely and turned her attention to Lucas. "I'm glad to see your doing well." 

He smiled, forcing it slightly. "Thank you, happy birthday," he also handed her a gift box.

"I wonder," she arched her eyebrow, shaking the box and laughing. "Enjoy the party," waving, she bounced away, her curves swaying with every step. 

"Are flies healthy for your condition?" Haley looked curiously at Lucas, trying not to smile. 

"Huh?" he muttered, turning toward her.

"I didn't think so, close your mouth, Marissa is not your type." 

"Why not?" he frowned, pretending he cared. 

"She's not any guys type," Haley giggled.

"Is she your mistress?" he asked with a defiant glare.

______________________________

"Well, if it isn't Lucas Scott," Brooke sipped on her beer again, pointing to the blonde.

Teresa sucked her teeth, "he's too fine to be with Peyton." 

"Whatever," Brooke sighed, "He just got out the hospital, I wonder what he's doing out of the house," she muttered, leaving her friend and approaching him. 

"Lucas," she smiled, her usually boldly seductive grin. 

"Brooke," he sighed, forcing a smile. 

It didn't fail to go unnoticed by Brooke and inwardly she winced. "So, your okay?" 

He shrugged, "I'm fine." 

She bit her bottom lip, thinking maybe it was wrong to attempt communication in the first place. "I was going to visit you in the hospital, but—" her eyes drifted else where, suddenly everything becoming more interesting. 

"Yeah," he cut in, "you didn't have too, and I'm fine." 

"Okay," his words cut into her deep, _why did she even try?_ "I'll see you later?" His nod clarified her question and she walked away, cussing under her breath. 

_______________________ 

It had been months, of thinking she was both physically and mentally adapted to her new surroundings. Constant parties, football and basketball games, elite adolescents all around, but now she was starting to think otherwise. He made her uncomfortable, not in an annoyingly superfluous way, but in a way she didn't want to feel uncomfortable. She was crazy about Nathan, _wasn't she?_ If she was, why was the sudden irritation of butterflies, streaming around in her stomach, happening? Every time _he_ came into vision? It was palpable that she clearly felt deeply for Nathan, but what exactly was it she felt? 

The vibration against her pants caused her to snap out of trance. It read _Nathan _on the caller I.D 

________________________ 

He took a sip of his water, his imperviousness to liquor made him proud, knowing he couldn't drink it anyway. A trail of pain started to roll through his brain; he held his hand to his head, vision starting to be evidently blurry. 

"Lucas?" A soft voice asked; he opened his eyes recognizing Haley's face, before collapsing onto the ground. The sound of faint whispers running through his brain before complete darkness fell upon him. 

_______________________ 

"Some one call an ambulance," the brunette called, trembling over her best friends body.

Brooke pushed through a crowd of people, gasping at the site of an unconscious figure laid out upon the cold floor. Her hands shook, but she dialed the number. 

"Hello, we need some one over here right now, a boy with a liver disease collapsed."

"Please Ms stay calm, what's the address?" the woman asked on the other line. 

"55 Lowelle and please hurry," with that she hung up the phone, bending near Haley, who squeezed Lucas's hand incessantly. 

"What the fuck Brooke? There's beer at this party, not to mention, were trying to have fun over here" Tim glared. 

Her features grew distasteful as she looked up and she unchangingly scrunched her face. "You're a poor excuse for a boy and we don't have time for this, take your liquor and get lost" 

Marissa trembled, "Oh my god," she paced, "Please let him be okay." 

_________________  

"I'm sorry," the doctor sighed. 

The words sent a chill through Karen "Oh my god, is he—," She shook her head violently, _he couldn't be. _

The doctor frowned, "No, but I'm afraid his liver surgery has failed, it was unsuccessful. His condition is very morbid and I'm afraid he's fell into a stupor, this time I'm not so sure he will wake up, without surgery." 

___________________ 

_Just when you think luck has its way of finding you, you realize you were wrong. The blatant effeteness of a circumstance holds more questions that are hard to answer._

_L.S_

____________________ _

Short, sorry I wrote it very quick, so please ignore grammatical errors. I know that it's too soon for failure and kind of depressing, but I'm just writing the circumstances almost exact of what happened to my brother. Review please. 

Check out my new story _Last breath! _


	7. Encumbrance

_Contemplation  _

_Encumbrance _

A/N Merry belated x-mas and happy New Year *cheese … My computer is still curably diseased, but it of course, will be fixed soon; for now, my moms computer works...sometimes. 

_______________________________________________________________________

_The most tedious emphasis to a precisely beautiful day ends with the scent- chill of death and of decomposing figures. The utter word of beauty in the most tragic, blatant shelter of death sends a shiver creeping up ones spine, but over a thin line new life is also created in that same shelter for death; the sanctuary I refer to is a hospital, where one can become just a mere burden to the human soul. _

_Luke _

_________________________________________________________________________

"Here," the voice gently whispered, sitting down beside him. He looked up, knowing the sweet voice could only belong one, Haley. 

Taking the cup on coffee, lightly feeling her fingers linger against his, he pulled away and muttered a "_thanks_." 

Biting her bottom lip, she offered a soft nod and sat next to him, relaxing into the odd, but comfortable silence. 

"You okay?" She said, stealing a glance at him. 

Nathan sighed, offering her a reassuring smile, "Yeah, you?" 

His faint reassurance caused her to smile as well, but she knew it wasn't true; knew his smile was only the faint metaphor of a tear. "I'm fine," she said softly, meeting her best friend's hospital room door with her eyes.  

"I—," he started, for once since their breakup; he looked her straight in the eyes. 

The sound of a throat being cleared broke the moment. "Ms. James, Mr. Scott," said the pale faced doctor, "could you please gather everyone? I've received news." 

_______________________________________________________________________

"Were all here doctor," Keith swallowed hard, embracing Karen in a comforting hug. 

"Well," the doctor took his glasses from his face and grazed the lens with his finger; after slight hesitation he sighed, "Ms. Sawyer, Ms. James, Mr. Scott," everyone looked around in confusion, "the oldest Scott; not one of you are compatible to be a donor for Lucas." 

Keith clenched his fist together, sharply exhaling at the bad news and watched Haley's eyes swell up. 

Peyton's knee's gave in and she sloppily, but luckily, reached the chair beside her on time. 

"The blatant news to this rather, horrible day, is the mother, father and brother are compatible donors, but there's a fifty-fifty chance that it might not be possible." 

Karen scowled at the doctor, "his father?" stepping away from Keith's warm embrace, instantly meeting the cold. "How would you know he's a match?" she almost released with a pout. 

"Because," a stern voice interrupted, "I tested."

Her eyes met that of her past loves, now knowing nothing but disdain and hatred. Words fell blank from her lips, tired of fighting, tired of holding anger, "why?" she whispered. 

"Karen, I don't want to talk about it," he spit out harshly, "just leave it alone." 

"Fuck you," she glared, crossing her arms to her chest. "Since when did you become his father?" 

"Since you made it known t the town," his words were harsh, but instantly he wished he never said them; knowing he honestly didn't feel that way. 

Keith growled, stepping forward. 

Nathan stepped up, between a battle he knew was about to conjure; knowing his uncle Keith wanted nothing more than to swing at his pitiful father. "Shut up!" he yelled, glaring at supposed adults in the room. "Just shut the fuck up," he turned away coldly, walking over to his brother's hospital room. "You all should be ashamed of your self," he twisted the door knob, his voice becoming calmer. "My brothers in there," he pointed, "fighting for his life and you all are arguing over shit that doesn't matter anymore. He's not a burden; it's about time all of you learned that." The sound of a sigh and a door being slammed silenced the waiting room. 

_______________________________________________________________________ 

 "But I don't get it," Peyton's lips curved into a frown, "when did this happen?" 

The contemplating brunette looked down the vast hospital halls, watching every step she made forward, feeling as if she wasn't moving at all. "Well," 

_Flash back…Three hours earlier (Marissa's Birthday party) _

The caller ID to her cell phone read 'Nathan' and she sighed, hesitating before answering.

"Haley," sadness filled his voice and he swallowed the ball of mass forming in his throat. 

"What's wrong?" his voice made her stomach turn, there was something seriously wrong. 

A soft exhale escaped grieving lips, "Baby, just tell me you never did it and ill forget about this." 

There it was again, the feeling of something crawling inside her stomach and her eyes played wide, while her bottom lip quivered. "Tell you I didn't do what?" 

"You slept with _him_ didn't you?" his voice grew serious, but she could hear the emptiness in his voice; he knew. 

A tear slipped from her eye; quickly she brushed it away with her finger. She could lie and everything will be okay, _wouldn't it?_ Deep down inside, she knew as well and she swallowed hard, muttering, "Nathan, I'm so sorry." 

_End of F.B _

"Oh my god," her hand caught hold of her mouth. 

Haley could only nod, "I know." 

______________________________________________________________________

I know it's short and also kind of stupid, but I assure you it will get better. It's only because I'm on my mom's laptop and my comp's getting fixed, I don't have much time, sorry. Ignore my spelling mistakes and what not, I promise you a longer and better chapter! MUAH! Review! 


	8. Copasetic

_Chapter _

_Copasetic _

**AN: **Hey everyone! Sorry, I know it's been a very long time since my last update, but my computer's not working at the moment and it's rare that I get chances to write lately. Well, here I am, in school I might add, but I probably won't get another chance for a while, until I get my computer working again. *sigh* so, please enjoy and review! Oh, and about the whole Haley thing, I did that on purpose, wanting to be evil! 

________________________________________________________________ _

_When reality is torturing the very last nerve one holds on to, tempting them to let go and release all of the negative energy concealed inside, allowing them to breathe a whole lot lighter; sometimes it's not as simple as it sounds. After all, actions receive consequences and consequences are filled thicker with disdain than the mere confinement of those treacherous feelings. So, what's one to do when their world is lost and with a single blink of an eye, everything, and everyone could disappear without a trace, leaving them wondering why they didn't release that energy in the first place… you see, now, they have no one to confide in, to share the very turmoil that rips their soul apart and it leaves them petrified, taking such feelings to the grave is **wrong. **_

****

L.S

_______________________________________________________________

_Two weeks later … _

"How are you feeling?" whispered a soft voice, smiling at the sight of him. "You're finally awake."

A yawn escaped his mouth and he offered a weak smile, "a little tired still, and you?"

"Lucas," she furrowed her eyebrows, her smile dissolving into a small frown, "maybe you should go back to sleep, really, I didn't mean to wake you."

A dry chuckle escaped him, "Hales, it's alright," he threw his hands in the air, "calm down."

She looked at him, eyebrow raised and glared sternly. 

He couldn't help but laugh once more. "I didn't even know you were here, you didn't wake me, I promise," he announced, placing his hand over his heart. 

A slight sigh, followed by a relieving smile, "good," she set down the coffee that she brought from the café on the table beside him and walked over to his bed. 

"I miss you," he looked into her eyes sadly and gestured for her to come closer.

"I'm right here," she frowned slightly, but decided it wasn't the best time. Walking over to a chair, she removed her jacket, setting her sneakers beside it and walking back over to his bedside.

A knowing look crossed his features; he pushed to the side of his bed slightly and lifted the covers for her. She slid in easily; her head comfortable on his chest and her hand across his stomach, as he softly brushed stray hairs from her cheek. 

"I miss you too, Scott," she whispered, before closing her eyes and drifting gently into a soft sleep, "I miss you too." 

_______________________________ 

"So, what should I do?" The blonde paced back and forth, feeling slightly claustrophobic, due to the tight space that the girl's locker room offered. 

"You have me beat there," Haley shrugged, glancing compassionately at her friend. 

"I don't get how this could happen," sighing, she sat down on the bench beside Haley. "Was he okay when you seen him this morning?"

Sighing, she said, "Well, as okay as he's going to get. He doesn't have much longer and I know he knows, he try's being too strong, you know?" 

"Yeah," she furrowed her eyebrows, "I don't know Haley."

She shook her head, "are you going to tell him?" 

"I don't know," Peyton shrugged, tears glistening in her eyes. 

"He would want to know, he deserves it, you know?" 

"Yeah," she cupped her hands to her face. "I just can't believe this, two months ago if you would have told me Lucas was dying of a liver disease I would have probably rolled my eyes."

"That would be a cruel joke," she chuckled dryly, frowning at the thought. 

The petite blond frowned as well. "Yeah, and what ever happened to a transplant?" 

"It might be too dangerous, for Lucas to undergo surgery again," her features saddened and she could feel the moist of her eyes, gently, she placed her hand over her friends. 

________________________________ 

"What the fuck!" the youngest Scott screamed, punching the locker he just slammed shut. 

"Nathan, calm down," Brooke lightly touched his arm. 

He flinched and sharply turned away, causing her to jump slightly to his movement. 

"Come here," she gestured him to sit and watched him roll his eyes but respond to her request.  "Let me take a look at that," she slightly grazed her finger over the cut on his lip and sighed as he winced. "It's deep," she announced, lightly wiping it with an alcohol swab. 

He shrugged, letting the silence take over. 

She exhaled softly, "why did you hit Tim?"

He rolled his eyes, "forget about it."

"Nathan," she let her hands fall to her sides, staring at him with pleading eyes. 

"He was just being an asshole that's all," he shrugged again. 

She sighed heavily, rolling her eyes. 

"Okay," he said defeated, "he was saying how it's funny how Haley cheated on me, while my brother's laying in a hospital bed dying." 

A stray tear fell from her eyes and strode down her cheek. "That asshole," she said almost above a whisper. 

He could only nod, embracing her in a soft hug, before getting up and muttering _thanks_

_________________________   

Walking down the hall way, he sighed, hearing his name being called. 

"What?" he rolled his eyes, "I already know Whitey,_ fighting gets you kicked off the team_," he mocked before turning around and continuing his approach to the outside world. 

"Nathan," he repeated sternly.

Without a word he turned around, looking at the older man in question. 

"How's Lucas?" he said after slight hesitation.

Frowning slightly, "he's going to be okay," he whispered before turning around and maintaining his grip on sanity. 

Whitey smiled softly watching him go, shaking his head and letting his smile retort into a frown. 

___________________________  

"Happy eighteenth birthday Scott," Haley announced, walking into his hospital room with a cake, followed by the rest of his loved ones. 

He smiled, sitting up in his bed, "I almost thought you all forgot."

"Never," Keith grinned. 

"I forgot," Nathan announced, playfully punching his brother in the arm. 

"I love you," Karen said, tears flowing from her eyes. 

"Aw, mom, come here," he frowned. 

"Your eighteen," she chuckled, wiping the tears from her eyes, "oh god, your eighteen." 

"If I knew it would be like this I would have never grew up," he laughed, pulling his mom into a soft hug. 

"Let's do the cake before it melts," Deb announced, tying balloons to a chair beside Lucas. 

"Yeah, I'm hungry," Peyton smiled, kissing Lucas softly and whispering happy birthday. 

The lights went out and horrible voices filled the room, yet through all the nerve racking noise, Lucas couldn't ask for anymore. 

_Fade out … _

"I can't believe he's in a hospital room on his birthday," Karen sighed, sipping her coffee.

"Sleeping," Haley added. 

Silence filled the room as every one was left contemplating their own thoughts. 

A loud buzzer started to go off, alarming them and snapping each one from their state of relaxation. 

"What's happening?" Peyton stood quickly, dropping her cup to the ground; the pieces of glass scattering everywhere. 

Nurses and doctors rushed by them, Karen's heart stopped as she prayed they would pass her son's room, but they didn't. 

"Oh my god," Brooke started to panic, screaming chaotically. 

_________________________________ 

_'The light was strong; the ray's hurt his eyes. He was being pulled into it, like something was calling for him. He couldn't stop, he tried, but it kept pulling him and he just wanted to end this pain. It told him that the pain would stop if he would just let go…' –Lucas  _

The nurse panicked, his heart had stopped, the line went completely straight and he wasn't breathing. 

"I said get me the scalpel," the doctor yelled, waking her from her thoughts. 

"Sorry," she said, quickly handing him the blade. 

_'Clear' _

One of the doctors's repeated, shaking his head. "Again," he ordered. 

_'Clear' _

"It's not working," he announced. 

"Were going to have to cut the air supply, it's the only way his body might balance." 

"Are you sure?" the other doctor said, pumping Lucas's chest again. 

The doctor held up the blade. 

____________________________  

"Everything's copasetic for now," the physician said, removing his gloves, "but I'm afraid if we don't try a surgery soon, he might not live to see the next month." 

___________________________ 

_The next day … _

"Are you sure about this?" She scrunched her eyebrows together, frowning at the thought. 

Nathan sighed, "What else is there to do? There's not anything to be sure about Peyton, he's dying." 

A tear slowly slipped from her eye, she gave a soft nod and slid down the wall in a corner. "I just don't know anymore Nate," she whispered, brushing curls aside. 

He frowned, sliding down the wall as well and sitting beside her. "I don't know either, but whatever happens I want you to know I'm there for you and the baby."

______________________________________________________________  

_I know it sucked, but I don't have much time (in school, remember?) lol. Review for me, please! *whines*  _


	9. Inevitable

_Chapter _

_Inevitable_

**AN: **Thank you for the reviews... Not much to say, so on to chapter nine... 

________________________________________________________________ _

_There's a thin line between dishonesty and protecting someone from a mistake or consequence, for dishonesty is lying for the sake of who knows what, but protection is when the mind can't grasp the idea that the truth set's the soul free... honesty conquers pity or shame and that, is definitely unavoidable. _

_Luke... _

_______________________________________________________________

_A week later... _

Nathan looked down the hall full of faces, some tearless, some tearing and him, just waiting; calmly? _Hell no. _

The doctor came out of the surgery room, "Mrs. Scott?" Karen looked over to Deb, who stood up quickly. 

"Is he?" She bit her lip, nervous. 

"He's doing just fine," the doctor smiled, "breathing is normal, pulse is perfect and he should be awake in about two hours." 

Deb sighed, gratefully, grabbing Karen's hand. 

Nathan's heart dropped, his breathing began to slow a little, but not enough. 

The doctor looked over to the youngest Scott, "Mr. Scott," he nodded, "I'm glad to inform you that you can breathe now—,"

Nathan gasped, _Thump. Thump. Thump. _

"Your brother should be awake in no time, surgery went perfect, my fellow workers and I think this is it, everything should be stabilized." He smiled wearily, and embraced Karen, who was thankfully crying, "You all should get your family back."

Nathan's heart slowed, he slowly sat down and took in a deep breath, _perfect. _A solitary tear slipped down his cheek, before he wiped it away, stood up and embraced his mother. 

Karen was second to receive Nathan's warmth, "Thank you Nathan," she cried, "thank you." 

Nathan could only nod, "But it wasn't me who saved him." 

"If it wasn't for you, Nathan," she smiled, "he wouldn't have made it. You're his angel sweetie, he loves you." 

The youngest Scott couldn't help but hold her tighter and when he finally let go, strong arms gripped him, "Uncle Keith," he smiled, patting his uncle on the back. 

Everyone was jumping around, screaming and crying, _perfect, _Nathan thought once more. While he was hugging Peyton, he extended his sight to Haley, who smiled and caused his stomach to tingle. 

He walked toward her, embracing her softly, "I told you everything would be fine." He smiled and walked away, feeling the cold hit him as soon as he lost her embrace. 

__________________________________________________________________ 

"Hey," Nathan's voice came soft, unlike most of the time, "How are you feeling?" 

"A little like an elephant is sprawled out on top of me, but other than that, I'm fine," Dan replied sarcastically. 

"Everyone's here Dad, Mom, uncle, Grandpa and Grandma just called, they should be here tomorrow," he bit his lip. 

Dan sighed, "Nathan?" 

Nathan looked up at his father, "huh?" 

"I'm sorry son," he looked away, forgetting how to deal with his emotions, "you know I didn't mean to hurt you, right?" 

"I know Dad," Nathan nodded, "I know." 

"Do you think he'll ever forgive me?" His voice was quiet and his words were shaken, but somehow, he knew that Nathan was going to be right and he didn't want to end up alone. 

Nathan bit his lip, a serious expression clouding his features, "I don't know Dad, I forgive you, but I don't know," he noticed his father's uneasiness and sighed, "You could always ask him yourself." 

__________________________________________________________________  

The door squeaked open, Lucas looked up slowly, his eyes still hurt and he could barely move, but he was thankful that he was alive. 

When he looked up to see who it was his heart stopped, "Hey," he managed to say, his voice fluctuating. 

Dan didn't respond, instead he wheeled him self over to Lucas's bed. "How are you feeling?" he simply asked, gesturing for the nurse, who helped him, to leave. 

Lucas wasn't sure how to respond, what to say, how to act. _How do you thank someone who's never been around, but that just saved your life? _"Okay, thanks to you," he smiled wearily. "How's the wheel chair?" 

"Lucas, Listen," he hesitated, "I know that I haven't been your father, or even a good person to you, but I do want you to know that I'm sorry." 

"It's okay," the blonde responded, swallowing a forming mass in his throat. 

"No, Lucas, it's not okay," he said sternly. "All my life, I've prided my self on being the best, conquering all, yet I failed to realize that I could be the best without avoiding you. I didn't understand then, heck, I didn't understand a month ago, but when I came into your hospital room a week ago and you were holding on for your life, I felt--," 

"Like my father?" Lucas looked down. 

Dan swallowed hard, "I felt like I missed out on being your father, I know I've denied you and hurt your mother, but I felt like giving something of mine to you would at least let you know I'm sorry." 

His son's eyes watered up, but like him he tried pushing it back, "I don't need your pity, Dan, its okay," he smiled, "really, I understand and I appreciate everything."

"You're just like me kid," Dan chuckled dryly, "don't comprehend a damn thing." He shook his head, "Listen, I don't want to pity you." 

"What do you want?" Lucas furrowed his eyebrows. 

"I want a chance," he hesitated, "to be a father to you and a father to Nathan."

Lucas took in a deep breath; he couldn't believe he was hearing this. "Why?" 

"Because, I don't want to die knowing that I could have been something to you," he finished and looked away with his jaw clenched. "I don't want to die alone; I want to be a better father to both of my sons. I ruined your life and Nathan's, and I want the chance to fix that or at least try." When his son didn't respond he nodded, "I understand," and started to wheel himself away. 

"Wait," Lucas called, waiting for his father to turn around, "you just did." 

"What?" 

"Fix my life," Lucas finished, a small smile plastered on his features, "but don't think just because you went soft on me, I'll go soft on you." 

Dan chuckled, "what do you mean?" 

"When I get out of here, I'm going to kick your ass at basket ball," he grinned. 

Dan retorted with a stern expression, but broke it down into a beam, "I'm holding you to that." 

__________________________________________________________________  

 Nathan couldn't help smiling, his dad was fine, his brother was fine and suddenly his life seemed fine. He walked down the hall's looking for one person in particular, when he couldn't find her he went outside and saw her on the phone. He slowly walked over to her, trying not to interrupt her conversation.

"Jake. Yeah everything's fine. No, not Nathan, Dan. Yeah, Dan. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Yeah. Uh huh. Yeah, of course I'm happy. Um, I don't know when we can see each other. I know, but I mean, I just don't know anymore," he heard Haley saying. 

Nathan heard enough, but before he could turn away, she did. 

"Nathan?" Her voice faltered, "What's up?"

"Nothing," he said coldly, "I just wanted to give you this, I know you must be tired," he handed her coffee and turned away, "bye." 

"I'm going to call you back Jake," she bit her lip and hung up, following after Nathan. "Nathan, wait," she pleaded. 

He turned around, "what?" 

"Maybe we should talk," she offered. 

"No, I'm not in the mood to talk, but I'm sure Jake is," with that he turned away, not looking back to catch the tear that slipped from her eye. 

____________________________________________________________________ 

_Later that night... _

"It's inevitable; you need to tell him you're pregnant," Nathan said softly. 

Peyton sighed, brushing curls from her face, "Not now, I want to make sure everything's going to be fine first." 

He could only nod, "Yeah." 

"You still love _her a lot don't you?" Peyton frowned, feeling sad for him. _

"I just can't seem to grasp the idea of her not with me," he chuckled dryly, "her sleeping with another man." He looked away, "her and Jake making love." 

"Yeah," Peyton sighed, "but she loves you." 

"That doesn't mean anything, love doesn't mean anything," he looked his ex girlfriend in the eyes, "you know?" 

She laughed, "of course, I'm the ultimate love hater." 

"And yet you love my brother?" 

"Yes," she replied with a smile.

He smiled softly as well, "Do you think I could ever look at her the same?" 

"I don't know Nate," she shrugged, "I don't know." 

__________________________________________________________________ 

_Hehe... I know it's taking long to get to the point, but I had to clear a few things and set the tie between Lucas and Dan. Hope you liked it, review! _


	10. Refutation

_Chapter _

_Refutation_

**AN: **Yes, all of the italics are Lucas, or contain him and yes, the journal entries are mine. Thank you... I hope you all enjoy this chapter. __

________________________________________________________________ _

_The disillusion of one, who relies on only their self through immensely hard times, then shifts their standing ground, going against morality, is disdainfully questionable and shouldn't be liberated. When, one has chosen not to follow the given path, it is a mistake one has selected to pursue; for there lay two paths, the path of discovery and the path forsaken. _

****

Luke... 

_______________________________________________________________

_A few weeks later . _

The air was slightly sticky, due to the heat and humidity that enveloped the environment. The court yard was open, barely any tree's, but luckily beside the water. 

Lucas wiped respiration from his brow, and went for the ball that made its way near the bench. 

"Here," Brooke stood up and handed it to him. 

"Thanks," he smiled casually, turning around and heading back to his game. 

Brooke watched him leave, sure to catch the muscles in his legs and the sweat that lingered on his skin. "Still got it," she whispered, licking her lips. 

"What are you in heat or something?" Haley arched her eyebrow, coming into view. 

"I thought you couldn't make it," Brooke sighed, avoiding Haley's comment. 

"Aw," the smaller of the two snickered, "don't sound too disappointed." 

"Trying," Brooke chuckled, scooting over to make room for her friend. 

"So, what's been going on?" Haley asked, switching her gaze to watch the game. 

"Not quite sure," she shrugged, "but I do know that Nathan and Lucas are trying to go easy on them."   
  


"Well, of course, Keith and Dan are old," Haley laughed, playfully shoving Brooke. 

Brooke grinned, raising an eyebrow, "They don't look that old." 

Scrunching her face, "ewe," she muttered playfully. 

_______________________________________________________________ 

Peyton looked up at the ceiling, sketch pad in her hand, but for some reason she couldn't concentrate and for days she's been wondering how to tell Lucas. As if he was reading her mind, he stepped in the room, a smile ear to ear. 

"Have fun?" Peyton frowned. 

He walked over to her bed and kissed her lightly. "Why the sad face?" 

"You know you're not supposed to be playing contact sports for a while." 

He laughed, flattered by her worry, "I know, but I'll be fine. You know everyone's going easy on me, besides, basketball seasons done." 

"Okay," she bit her lip. 

He smiled, taking the sketch book from her hand, "Blank?" 

"Don't know what to draw," she shrugged. 

He nodded, but he couldn't help but think something was wrong. "Is there something you need to tell me?" 

Tensing up, she said, "No, why, did someone say something?" 

"Calm down Peyt, I'm just wondering," he smiled, but her face was still serious. "Hey, come here," he laid her in his lap, "You know you could tell me anything right?" 

She replied with a soft nod, but inside her stomach was turning, _morning sickness. _"Lucas," she got up slowly, not being able to fight the suspense any longer, "I'm pregnant," and ran to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet. 

________________________________________________________________

"She can't be," The blonde shook his head. 

Nathan sighed, "She is." 

"You knew?" Lucas furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Yeah," Nathan said simply, "she found out when you were in the hospital, the first time, but she was too scared to say anything," Lucas didn't respond, so Nathan continued, "she was acting weird you know, so she told me."  

Anger arose in his body, but he suppressed it, knowing they all had good intention's hiding it from him. "I'm only eighteen," he exhaled, placing his head in his hands, "I have a career to follow, a life ahead of me." 

"You can't be in denial Luke," he shrugged, "you can't change this, unless she's willing to get an abortion." 

Lucas winced, "I'm only eighteen," he said again, "how could I be so stupid? I have my whole life planned Nate." 

The youngest Scott couldn't help but feel sorry, patting his older brother on the back. "I got a question though," Lucas looked up, "did that life involve Peyton?" 

______________________________________________________ 

"Who is it?" Haley called softly, opening the door. 

"Hey." 

"Hi," she gasped, surprised, "what's wrong?" 

"Can we talk?" Nathan slid his hands into his pockets. 

"Um," she bit her lip, unsure. 

"Haley," a voice called, stepping into view, "do you want the green construction paper or the..." he trailed off, staring at Nathan blatantly. 

"Jake," Nathan muttered. 

"Nate," Jake nodded. 

Haley's heart sped up, "Nathan..." 

"You know what," he forced a smile, "forget it, I'm feeling better now." 

"But I thought..." she started. 

"No, I forgot what I wanted to say anyway, thanks," he started to walk off, "bye Jake." 

Haley watched his back, watched him get into his car, watched him drive away and watched him leave her life... again. 

_________________________________________________________ 

"Peyton?" Lucas asked as someone picked up her phone. 

"Peyton's not home right now," a soft voice announced, "can I take a message?" 

"Tell her to call Lucas," he sighed, "it's important." 

"Oh it's you," the girl said, slightly agitated, "yeah, ill tell her," _'click'. _

Peyton looked up at the girl, "Was it him?" 

"Yeah," a shrug, "you okay?" 

________________________________________________________________ 

Nathan sat along the shore, the waves splashing and the breeze ruffling through his hair. Breathing in air, he swallowed and closed his eyes. "What happened?" he asked, as he heard footsteps behind him. 

Lucas didn't respond, just plummeted down on the sand beside his brother. 

"Is she avoiding you?" Nathan opened his eyes, "cause if so, you deserve it." 

"I know," Lucas sighed, "what about you?" 

"Jake," he said simply. 

Lucas sulked, "over her house?" 

"Yup," he said, showing no emotion. 

"Oh." 

The two brothers sat there, looking out at the ocean and each left contemplating their own thoughts. For a while, they met up at that same place and just talked, or kept each other company. 

"I'm going to go," Lucas got up, touching his brothers shoulder, "don't attempt to go swimming, remember I need you alive to get through this." 

Nathan laughed, "I'll see you tomorrow." 

______ 

Five minuets later, the sound of footsteps against the sand interrupted Nathan's thoughts once more. 

"Lucas, go to sleep," he chuckled, "I know you love being in my presence, but come on." 

"Always the conceited," the voice wasn't Lucas's of course. 

"Always the smart ass," He said, as sarcastic, but his words were bitter. 

Haley sat down beside him, "mind if I join you?" 

"Actually, I rather not have you and Jake interrupting me, but thanks," sarcasm parted his lips. 

"It's just me," she glared, "and, what are you doing that's so easily interrupted." 

"Thinking," he replied. 

"Wow, I didn't know Nathan Scott was capable," she said it, but didn't mean to. 

He scowled, turning his eyes back to the ocean; the waves were far more interesting than her at that moment. 

"Sorry," she shrugged, "you know I was playing." 

"Yeah," he swallowed, "it doesn't matter anyway." 

"We need to talk," she said bravely. 

"No, correction, you need to talk, I don't have to do anything," his voice was higher in tone than usual. 

"Nathan..." 

He rolled his eyes, "what do you need to talk about?"

"We need to talk about what you wanted to talk about earlier," her voice was soft. 

"No, I told you to forget it. You clarified everything for me already." 

She frowned, "how?" 

"Wow, for a smart girl, you sure ask dumb questions," he chuckled and stood up, wiping sand from his pants. 

"Nathan..." 

"Stop," he yelled, "I don't want to hear it. Don't you think that you and Jake have thrown this in my face enough? I don't need your stupid apologies." 

"Listen," she stood up, and raised her voice, "when your ready to talk and I mean, actually talk, than call me." Her expression grew stern, "We can't keep being immature about this, and you have my number, use it."  

He watched her retreat and kicked the sand, "Fuck!" 

_______________________________________ 

Ring. Ring. Ring. 

"Who is it?" the same girl asked. 

"Who's this?" Lucas asked. 

"Peyton's not home." 

"Where is she?" 

"Not home." 

"Where is she?" 

"I don't know." 

"Who is this?" 

"That's none of your business." 

"Peyton is my business." 

"Well, I'm not." 

Lucas heard a voice in the background.

"Jordan, just give it to me."

 His heart started to beat faster. 

"Hello," Peyton's voice was soft, but aggravation flowed through it. 

"Peyton..." he deadpanned. 

____________________________________________________________________ 

Dun dun dun ... 

Wait for the next chapter...

Haley and Nathan talk. Who is Jordan? 


	11. Stamina

_Chapter _

_Stamina _

**AN: **Guess what? The story should be ending soon! Well, if I get allot of feedback I might leave open a possibility of a part two... Hope so, maybe results, consequences and everyone after high school? This chapter is set a week after all of the drama that was going on... 

________________________________________________________________ _

_Through life, one must endure hardships, discover truths and adapt to new surroundings, but all of these require strength, courage._

****

Luke... 

_______________________________________________________________

_A week later..._

Peyton furrowed her eyebrows, sketch book in hand, but when she stopped her illustration, she smiled and examined it. The picture was of a girl crying, but the sun shinning over her dim day and under the illustration were the words '_through the dark there's always light ... one just has to find it..._' 

_Lucas, _he was her light and through all the bad times, he never failed to be that amount hope which kept her _alive_. 

The bell rang, abruptly interrupting her from thoughts. 

"Peyton," Haley called, walking toward her, "I was looking for you." 

The blonde stood up and grabbed her bag, following Haley out of the class. "What's up?" 

Haley bit her lip, "I was thinking maybe we could hang out tonight, since you know?" 

Peyton smiled softly, "sure, I'll pick you up from work at?" 

"At eight?" the brunette chirped. 

"Sounds good to me," she said and started to walk away. 

Haley stood, watching her friends retreat, a frown expressed her sadness. 

"What's wrong?" Her best friend asked as he approached. 

"Nothing," she shook her head, "what's up?" 

"Basket ball practice then I was thinking we could go to the movies?" he arched his eyebrow in question. 

She chuckled softly, "actually, I've got a date with your girlfriend." 

"So first you wanted to steal Brooke and now it's Peyton?" she giggled, making him respond, "it's not funny, you have an obsession with my women, I'm surprised my mom wasn't first on the list." 

_______________________________________________________ 

_Later that night... _

"Are you done?" Peyton asked, entering the cafe. 

Haley looked around, grabbed her coat and switched off the light, "yep, were good to go." 

____________________________ 

The girls sat in Peyton's room, after grabbing a bite to eat and stopping by a party. 

"That was crazy," Haley laughed. 

"I can't believe that happened," Peyton chuckled, shaking her head, "Tim kissing that old lady." 

"It was hysterical!" 

"Sure was," the blonde sighed, "so, what's on your mind? You seem preoccupied tonight, well, your thoughts that is..." 

"Oh," she shook her head in hesitation, "it's just, you know everything with Nathan." 

"Yeah, he still hasn't talked to you?" she frowned. 

"No, but I mean, I'm okay with it, Jake's nice and all, I just..." 

"It's Nathan," Peyton responded for her, "I get what your saying, but you and Jake are dating steady?" she arched her eyebrow. 

"No," Haley shook her head, smiling, "Not exactly, I'm too confused."

"Still having sex?" 

"Well," a blush came over her cheeks, "only one other time, other than the first time," she blabbered. 

"You feel guilty," the blonde smiled, "don't you?" 

"How'd you know?" she frowned, "oh yeah, I blabber." Haley furrowed her eyebrows, "I shouldn't anymore, but I do." 

"I'm sorry Haley; I don't know what to tell you," Peyton shrugged, "Nathan doesn't forgive easily, it's not him, but if it means anything he did love you." 

Haley was about to say something when an interruption came knocking at Peyton's bedroom door. 

"Peyt," a pause, "you in there?" the door cracked open. 

Peyton gave a soft smile, "hey Jordan, any luck finding good food spots?" 

"No," the younger girl frowned, "this town still sucks." 

Haley arched her eyebrow, "um Hey." 

Jordan stuck out her hand, offering it to Haley, "you must be um... Brooke?" 

Haley shook her hand, "No," she chuckled, "Haley." 

"That was my next guess," Jordan laughed. 

Haley smiled, but was still confused. "Are you Peyton's old friend?" 

"Well," she hesitated, "I'm kind of her sister." 

The brunette responded wide eyed, "Peyton since when did you have a sister?" 

"For seventeen years, I'm a year older," she bit her lip, "don't ask why no one knows, it's a long story." 

____________________________________ 

Nathan dribbled the ball, reflecting on all aspects of his life. "Lucas, were graduating," he said simply. 

The oldest brother looked up, chuckled and stole the ball from Nathan. "Yeah, we are." 

"So what do you think of that?"  He furrowed his eyebrows. 

Lucas shook his head, "are you--," he hesitated, "nervous?" 

"No," Nathan's voice rose, shrugging, "I'm just wondering what you think, that's all." 

The blonde rolled his eyes, "I don't know, Peyton and I decided that we would both still go to college." 

"What about the ba—,"

"I know, the baby, but we decided once _it's _old enough, day care has to be an option," he shrugged, "I'm going to college and Peyton wants to take up her arts so..." 

Nathan nodded, "that's good, and at least you both are trying to work everything out." 

"Yeah," Lucas smiled, "what about you?" 

"Well, I still want to go to Stanford or maybe UCLA, not sure, but either way its fine," he smiled, "it's good Haley made me take up Law, something to fall back on if basket ball doesn't work." 

"Yeah, _Haley," _the other responded, "She has a way of making people realize everything. Maybe the Scott brothers will be together again." 

"Yeah, she got you too?" Nathan smiled. 

"Yup, but as you know I'm looking into Psychology." 

The younger of the two laughed, "You can't help yourself." 

______________________________________________________ 

 Haley walked down the empty street, hands tucked in her pockets as the wind blew her hair simultaneously while she pondered. _Nathan, _the name brushed over her thoughts quickly and at the time her body radiated warmth, even if for only a second. _Graduation,_ the word ate her insides, but suddenly she was confused; the one thing she waited her life for was around the corner and yet she felt like running in the opposite direction.

_________________________________________________________ 

_Morning of graduation... _

"I can't do this," Haley cried, plummeting onto a couch. 

"What do you mean you can't do this tutor girl?" Brooke sat down beside her. 

"I mean, I'm not strong enough Bo," tears slipped down her cheeks, "I thought I wanted away, but I realized I like how things are; you, Lucas, Peyton, Nathan, everybody." 

The dimpled face brunette bit her lip, "I can't believe I'm hearing this, are you high Hales?" 

"No," she chuckled, through breaths, "I just...I'm not ready yet, I don't have the courage to move on, away from everybody and everything I know." 

"No one's ever ready," Brooke sighed, "you just need to go with the flow of life, follow your own path." 

Haley pouted, "Can I follow yours with you?" 

Both girls laughed, embracing each other.

___________________________________________________________ 

Sucked? Review! 


	12. Veracity

_Chapter _

_Veracity _

**_AN: _**_Chapter before the final chapter… _

_……………………_

_The world, although flowing with inevitably-intense emotions, is a world of truth, realness. The cold, bitter world we walk through everyday is reality; is actuality. This world of pain, suffering, health, and happiness, is authentic, and when one grows enough to realize the delusions, he will prevail. _

_Lucas Scott _

_……………………_

She watched her reflection, watched the shiny blue of her robe reflect off of the morning sky, and watched her vivacious curls dance under her cap. It was a beautiful image, one she had worked hard for over the years.

Peyton, counted to ten, before swallowing hard and disconnecting her reflection by moving around her room to grab her keys.

……………………

Nathan rolled over in bed, hitting his alarm clock, "it's too early for this," he moaned, closing his eyes.

"Oh, wake up," a voice chuckled, "this is one of the biggest moments of our lives and you're planning to sleep through it."

Nathan groaned, "Lucas, I'm taking back my key."

The oldest brother chuckled, throwing a pillow at his younger siblings head, "lazy ass."

……………………

"Haley James?"

"Yes mom?" Haley asked, fixing her cap on her head, "I'll be down in a second, hold on."

……………………..

Brooke kissed the mirror, and smiled, "hey beautiful, you look so sexy in that robe."

……………………

"Haley James, a boy is on the phone for you, he says it's important," Haley's mother called, sounding a bit too happy.

Haley's heart fluttered, _a boy on the phone? _She hesitated before picking up the phone, "hello?"

"Haley?"

Her heart sank, just a bit. "Hey Jake, what's up?"

"Ugh," he started, "we need to talk."

"Talk about what?" she bit her lip.

"About Jenny."

"Oh my god, did something happen to her?" her voice became shaky, scared.

"No," he said in a comforting tone, "it's nothing like that."

"what is it then?"

"Her mother is here...in Tree hill."

Haley's mouth formed the shape of an 'O'. "Really?"

"Yeah, and..." he hesitated, "i think i'm going away with her."

"Oh," she said confused, "so, you two are... together?"

"something like that," he said softly, "her name is Jordan, and she is..."

"Peyton's sister," Haley cut in with a nod.

.......................................................................

…………………………..

Their eyes met, across the room, if for only a second Peyton felt comfortable, satisfied by even the smallest of his smiles.

Lucas could feel it, the feeling he use to get when she would look at him, and he knew that everything was going to be fine.

As they crossed the room, made their way through people that were excited to be graduating, they reached each other, entwined fingers and sat; _we are in this together. _

……………………………

_Flashback _

_"Jake," Haley whispered, "we shouldn't be doing this."_

_Jake pulled away, bringing his fingers, that were currently touching her cheek, down to his side. "No, we shouldn't." _

_She sighed, shaking her head. "I love Nathan."_

_"I know you do," he nodded, pulling his shirt on, "and he's one of my friends."_

_Her cheek's burned hot, and she knew if she had glanced in the mirror, she would find herself to be a crimson red. "I'm sorry; I don't know what I was thinking."_

_End Flashback _

Haley sighed, holding her gold necklace in her hand. It was engraved…

_I'll always love you …Nate_

She smiled; an ounce of confidence redeemed within her body, and placed the necklace around her neck. _Let's see if he's true. _

_…… …………_

The big day had finally come, parents and friends gathered for the graduating class. Lucas looked out of the drape, and exhaled deeply. "It's time."

Nathan gave a quick nod, and continued to pace the room where all the graduating class was to wait.

"You okay?" Lucas arched an eyebrow, "you seem a little…"

"Nervous?" Nathan cut in, "why?"

"Um…because you pacing," his brother shrugged.

"No," he shook his head, "I know, but why am I nervous?"

"I don't know," Lucas laughed, "but it's kind of amusing."

Nathan stopped, turning to Lucas and glaring hard, "shut up."

The other walked beside his brother and sighed. "Nate, it's going to be fine."

"Wow, thanks for the comforting words," the youngest Scott said sarcastically.

"I try," Lucas smiled.

…………………………….

As Haley reached the tall, white building, that held memories of the life she was about to leave, she sighed and muttered, 'here goes nothing.'

"Haley," Lucas called, watching her enter the small room.

Nathan took in a deep breath, but for a moment it felt like he wasn't breathing at all. He watched Haley smile at Lucas, but watched as it faded when she noticed he was beside her best friend.

_Be brave. _Haley told herself, walking over to them.

"Lucas," she nodded, "Nate."

"Hey Hales, how are you feeling?" Lucas asked, trying his best to ignore the tension.

"I'm…" she glanced at Nathan, and faked a smile, "I'm fine Luke."

"Are you sure?" he placed a hand on her arm, "because last night you seemed a bit…"

"Don't worry Lucas," she interrupted, "I'll catch you later. Bye Nathan."

Nathan's heart plummeted, and skipped a beat. The word '_bye' _scared him.

"Earth to pretty boy," Lucas waved his hands in his brother's face, "is anyone home in there?"

"Huh?"

"You okay?"

The youngest brother scratched his head, "of course."

"Of course you're not, or of course you're a liar?"

A sigh departed Nathan's lips, "It's just…"

"Could it be the fact that this is the last time you'll be a slave to high school?"

"Yeah," Nathan paused, "maybe."

"Haley?"

"No," Nathan laughed.

Lucas rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, maybe"

"Do you miss her?"

"That's a stupid question."

"So go talk to her," Lucas said, patting his brother on the back.

"No," Nathan shook his head, "she doesn't deserve it Luke."

"So you're saying she doesn't deserve **you, **after all of the bullshit and pain you've caused her?" Lucas spit venom, "she doesn't deserve forgiveness?"

"I thought she loved me," Nathan whispered, "we were in love!"

Lucas chuckled dryly, "and at the speed that you two were going I'm not surprised you crashed."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nathan furrowed his eyebrows.

"It means that you two promised each other so much, don't you see how young you are?"

Nathan turned away, maybe to revive himself, or maybe it's because his eyes were swelled with tears of defeat. But Lucas would never know.

……………………………………..

The announcement came on, and every single face in the room turned forward, completely silent.

"As most of you already know I'm Mr. Landua, the principal. Today I'm here to welcome you all, but also to say goodbye to the brightest, talented, young men and women I've ever had the pleasure in working with. When I say working, I mean it, because I didn't only teach these students, they taught me in return. So now, with my sincerest gratitude, I would like to call out the senior class."

As the students made their way out, sitting in their individual seats, mothers cried, fathers took pictures and some cried too, but it was happiness, and Nathan finally saw that.

He watched Karen; tear's filled her eyes, but a smile steadily sitting on her lips. His mother beside her, smiling like there was no tomorrow, he knew she was proud and that all she ever wanted was to watch him walk across the stage. No sign of his father, and even though pretended not to care; he sort of wished he would be there. Even his uncle Keith was there, proud as ever.

……………………………………..

"So what did you say in your Thank you-s?" Peyton asked, smiling.

"You'll see," Haley said.

…………………………

The lights dimmed slightly, and the huge projector, which was placed at the front of the room, switched on.

Student after students senior, 'thank-you' video's came on. Many watched with pride, tears and gratitude.

Lucas was the first of the group to have his video shown, the first name called to receive his diploma.

_Lucas's video: _

(Many people in the audience clapped, and screamed)

_First off, I want to say, it has been a rather wild ride. The best of my years lay in this school, and I just want to say thank-you to all of the people that made this day possible for me. _

(Teachers whistled gratefully, and clapped knowingly)

_Secondly, I want to thank the most important person in my life, without her I wouldn't be here today. _

_[Wink]_

_Mom, you've been there through my good times, and bad. You've had faith in me, even when I was sick in the hospital and the doctors said there was no hope, you stayed strong, believing in me. I know that I've done wrong things…_

_[A laugh]_

_I remember getting that tattoo when you were away at that cooking colony, or staying out late and not calling. But when I came home, and looked in your eyes, I knew that you still had trust in me, faith in me. I may not have been the best son I could be, but I want you to know that I am your son and always will be. You've raised me, my whole life, took care of me and I think you're a beautiful person for that. You're not only my mother, but my best friend. Thank you. _

_(Karen's tears cascaded down her cheeks, but she beamed with happiness. Tears filled the room, and Lucas watched as everyone smiled at him)_

_Speaking of best friends… _

_[wink]_

_Hales, I love you, plain and simple. I don't know anyone who was more real to me than you are. _

_(Haley cries)_

_You are my role model, and I know that sometimes you have trouble with that_

_(Haley laughs)_

_But if there's someone I know who will always do the right thing, it's you. You have been there for me when the world shut me out. You are in my heart, and I intend to keep it that way. _

_(Everyone laughs)_

_I want to be the best man in you're wedding, I want to be the godfather of you're children, even if you have eight. _

_(Everyone cries and laughs)_

_So I thank-you for showing me who I am… _

_(Tears fall from Haley's eyes, she whispers to a smiling Lucas, 'thanks')_

_Nathan, I know that times have changed, and now we get along… [Chuckles]Well, occasionally, but I just want you to know, you've always been my brother. You've taught me how to dunk, you were the first person who ever opened up Haley's heart, and you taught me that honey really does taste good with peanut-butter._

_(Room laughs softly)_

_I hope you've had as much fun as I had. Thank you, little brother. _

_(Nathan playfully smacks Lucas, 'did you really have to say little?)_

_Uncle Keith, without you, honestly, I have no clue if I would be up here giving thanks to Nathan at all. You've brought me many things, including closer to my dreams of basketball. You're more than an uncle, I hope you know that. And hey, you got my permission to marry my mom. _

_(They laugh)_

_Crazy, Brooke. Man, there's a lot to say about you, but I can't make out half the words. You've given me a lot, courage, confidence and much more, and I thank-you for staying loyal. You're a great friend, good luck in life. _

_(Brooke smiles)_

_In life, I've always hid under this façade; this blanket that sheltered me from the light of reality, because I was too stubborn, or too scared to stop dreaming. As I walked through this dark delusion, I realized I wasn't alone. Peyton was there with me, hiding her essence from the world. So, we held hands, and walked into the light together. I am no longer scared of being who I am, and I doubt she is either. And when I close my eyes to dream at night, I never worry, because I know that my angel is there to help guide me back. That's what you are Peyton, my angel. _

_(Peyton fights tears)_

_I love you for helping me fight to stay alive. I love you for many reasons, and I want to thank-you for loving me as well. _

_(-the tears fall)_

_Last, but not least- I want to thank Dan, my father. I call you father, not because I dislike you, but because I haven't known you well enough to call you my dad. And I mention this, because I would like to know you better and be able to have a dad. It's not too late. [Chuckles] I promise. You made a sacrifice for me, and it didn't go unlooked. My respect for you is powerful and strong. And I also want to thank you for looking at me like you looked at Nathan, and even if it was only once, I know you see me as your son. _

_(Dan watches from the back, proudly)_

_I would also like to thank: Whitey-you'll always be my couch. Jake-A true friend_

_So, after my long and probably boring speech, I would like to say goodbye to all of you who had made me stronger. _

_………… fade out ………… _

"Lucas Scott," the principal called.

As Lucas crossed the stage, glanced at the people cheering, he realized everything was slow motion. The biggest moment of his life was over, and it didn't feel too bad.

……………………………..

Brooke's video made the whole room hysterical, and she smiled in amusement. As it faded, and she walked across the stage, she blew kisses to everyone.

……………………………

_Nathan's video: _

_Wow, I didn't even think I would make it to twelfth grade, forget graduate. _

_(Everyone chuckles. Deb raises her eyebrow, but smiles)_

_Alright, well I'm not going to make this too long, because… well, just because. _

_(Laughing)_

_First I would like to give a shout out to my old, skinny, horrible basketball playing brother-Lucas. Did I forget to say how much he sucks at b-ball? _

_ (Lucas shoves Nathan, laughing)_

_Well anyway, I just want to say, even if you suck, I love you man. But don't expect me to ever, ever call you my older brother. It's only a few months! _

_(Lucas laughs)_

_I do want to say one thing, seriously. I never got the chance to actually say that I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I realized it, you know, that night you were in the hospital. You were in a coma, and I stayed with you, for a long time. I couldn't leave, I had to apologize, but you were sleeping then. I was too scared, so I took advantage of your state and did it then. Well, I'm sorry for being so weak, and I'm sorry for everything. You really are a loser, but you're my brother, and I wouldn't have it any other way. _

_(Lucas smirks)_

_[Nathan gets out a list] Oh yeah, I want to thank my Dad for pushing me, taunting me and torturing me, because now I'm stronger. [Laughs] I love you dad, I hope you're proud. _

_(Dan nods, and mutters, 'I'm proud son')_

_Mom, thank-you for everything; I love you, but you already know that. Oh, and thanks for the good look's [wink's] _

_(Deb cries and laughs)_

_Peyton and Brooke, you girls should be grateful I'm even mentioning your names. _

_(They laugh)_

_I know what you two are thinking, 'always the conceited.' [Nods] You're right. [Laughs] Thank you too, you're good friends. _

_(They smile)_

_But the person I want to thank more than anyone in the world is Haley James. _

_(Haley's heart stopped)_

_When my grades were slipping, you helped me. But school wasn't all you helped me with. You've helped me forgive my family, and rise over my anger. You've helped me be a better person Haley. And I love you because you helped me love more of myself. I just want you to know that wherever were heading, wherever this crazy world takes us, you'll always be the one I love. I know we've both made mistakes, and maybe those mistakes will separate us forever, but the one thing they can't do is stop me from loving you. Thank-you!_

_(Haley starts to cry and Peyton grabs her hand tightly)_

_That's all I have to say, Goodbye Tree hill. _

_……Fade out… … _

"Nathan Scott," The principal smiled, holding out his diploma.

A sensation arose in his stomach, and as he got up he felt … different.

Somehow in someway he realized that things will never be the same, and maybe it is time that he let go.

Making his way across the stage, he looked into Haley's eyes, which were now red with tears and smiled.

_Reality_

_………………………………_

_When all seems lost, maybe that is not actually true. Maybe there's a whole world to be unraveled, one must have the courage to do it. _

_L.S_

_………………………………_

Difficult chapter to write and I hope you all understand. One more chapter left. Here goes nothing.


	13. With out you

_Chapter_

_Without you _

_AN: Final Chapter_

_………………………………_

_Peyton's video: _

_I'm kind of scared of public speaking, and the funny thing is I own and use a web cam. [Laughs] Not for anything bad, [shrugs], sometimes for the loneliness. But I don't have to use it anymore, because I'm never lonely, and I want to thank Lucas for that. Lucas Scott, you're something [smiles] and I'm sorry, for you and myself, that it took me so long to realize that. I really do love you, and I know that you really do love me. I never thought it was actually possible, you know, for someone to love me like you do. But I wish you could see the way you look at me [starts to cry] because if you did, you'd love yourself as much as I do. _

_I have many people to thank- my father, my art teacher, Nathan, Haley and everyone else; I love you Brooke. But like I said, I hate public Speaking and I do have one last thing to say. _

_I'm pregnant, and I'm not scared. [She smiles] I love you Lucas. _

_(Tears spread around the room, and many people fall into shock. But Peyton walks across the stage proud, without care. She blows a kiss at her father, who smiles and blows one back.)_

_……… fade out… ……_

_Haley's Video: _

_[Wipes tears from her eyes] Wow, look at me, crying and I haven't begun to speak. _

_(Crowd smiles)_

_I want to thank Lucas, because if you would have never allowed me to be apart of you're life then I would never be able to make this speech. You've been my best friend for as long as I can remember, and I know it'll always be that way for us. When I look back upon my days, not one of them, doesn't have a memory of you. I want it to always be that way for me, and I feel selfish because I could never give you up. When you told me, that morning that you were in love with Peyton, I was Jealous. I wasn't jealous because I harbor a secret desire for you [shakes her head]. It's never been like that for me, but I was jealous because I thought a part of you wouldn't be mine anymore, and although I know now that apart of you belongs to Peyton, I don't care, because I know that you'll always be my best friend. Through the years that I've grown, you've showed me the way; almost like a big brother to me [smiles]. I remember a time when I got into a fight with my parents, I was so mad that I decided to run away, but the farthest I could run was to you're house. I couldn't leave you, it was impossible for me to think of a life away from you, Lucas. So, I crawled through you're window, and as if you knew, you were awake, with an extra blanket. I remember the day, even though I was so small, that I was sent to the hospital because I had an allergic attack from a pickle [chuckles]. You stayed in my room all night, and cried, you wouldn't go home. Lucas Scott, I wish to share many more of these idiotic, but beautiful memories with you. And I want to thank-you for all the times that you've been there for me. Don't ever stop being my best friend. _

_(Lucas smiles, closing his eyes and letting the memories flow.) _

_Peyton, at first we didn't hit it off. I didn't like you too much, as you already know [chuckles], but you, in you're twisted little way, have found a place in my heart. I couldn't ask for anyone better to share a life with my best friend, than you. [Starts to cry again] take care of him Pey, I love you. _

_(Peyton wipes her tears)_

_Karen, you've been my mother, you've yelled at me, grounded me, and loved me. I love you dearly, and I'll never forget how much you've done for me. I'll forever be grateful. _

_(Karen nods; yells 'I love you Hales')_

_Uncle Keith, Brooke and Deb- I love you all so much. Thanks for being apart of my life. _

_I can't believe this day is finally here; I've waited so long for this moment, but now that it's here I kind of wish it wasn't… It's actually kind of ironic that the place that I've hated for such important years of my life, I've grown to love, to cherish. [Smiles] I've learned a lot from this place, and after a while it just started to grow on me. Just the way that Nathan just started to grow on me. At first I thought I was doing wrong, but then I realized how much I cared about him. _

_Nathan, I know things between us will never be the same, but I apologize for that. When I look at you, my heart skips a beat, and I get scared. Is this supposed to happen? I ask my self questions about you all the time. Why am I hurting him? [Tears] But it's not all discussable in front of the whole student body and parents. _

_(Crowd laughs, Nathan just stares)_

_But, what I can say is that I love you. You've grown on me, and as much as I try to move on, I can't, because I need you to know that I do love you. I'm sorry for everything, and I hope one day, even if years from now, you forgive me [shrugs]. If not, hey, there's still next life. _

_(He laughs softly)_

_My mistakes, and my actions receive consequences, but you taught me that Nathan, thank you. _

_[Wiping her tears] so with that, I just want to say that it's been a roller coaster, but I wouldn't trade any of my memories for the world. _

_…fade out… _

Peyton ran over to Lucas; kissed him softly and embraced him. "I love you."

"I love you," he kissed her cheek, and placed a hand on her stomach.

"It's a boy," she said simply.

A smile crept over his lips, "We're having a boy."

Congratulations spread over the crowd, as Lucas yelled the news.

"I'm going to be an uncle to a big time basketball player," Nathan chirped in, touching Peyton's belly, "your suck-y ass father and I will teach you how to play ball."

"Nathan," Peyton groaned, "there is no way in hell my son will ever play ball."

"We'll see about that," he said.

……………………

As the ceremony ended, their eyes locked, but she broke it, walking out the backdoor with tears in her eyes. Nathan followed her, knowing that it was time to stop acting childish. He found her crying, under her 'tree'.

"What are you doing out here Hales?" Nathan sat down beside her, "they got chocolate cake."

She gasped, but dried her tears quickly. "Yeah, well I'm not too hungry today."

"Haley, we need to talk."

"No," she chuckled, "you need to talk I don't have to do anything."

"You're mocking me."

"You're clever."

He face flushed red, "I'm serious."

"Okay," she turned to him, "what's up?"

"Where's Jake?"

She huffed, standing up, "if this is what you wanted to do, just taunt me, I won't let you anymore."

"No," he pulled her back down, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," she said softly.

"Did you mean what you said in there," he gestured toward the school doors.

"About the pickle?" she joked, and when his face remained serious she said, "About loving you?"

"Yeah, about mistakes and all that?" he wouldn't look at her.

She took his hand, waiting for him to make eye-contact, "I meant every word."

He looked into her eyes, "why would you cheat on me? What did I do wrong?" his eyes started to well-up.

She grabbed his hand again, tears cascading down her cheeks, "because I was scared."

"Scared of what?" anger rose in his tone.

"Scared of everything, scared that you'll move on, or I'll move on. Scared that this world will tear us apart, and I couldn't live with that. I found that day by day I loved you more, and I couldn't live with you leaving me years from now, when I love you so much more." She watched him turn his eyes away, "I don't expect you to understand, but I want you to know that I love you, not him. I just can't bare the thought of living the rest of my life without you."

He looked at her with sad eyes, "I understand, but I'm not looking for an apology. I just… I don't think I can forgive you."

"I'm not asking you to," she let go of his hand and wiped the tears from her face, "but now you know."

He watched her stand, and walk away from him. He shook his head, "Haley."

She turned around, eyes full of tears, "Nathan?"

He stood up, starting to walk over to her. As he reached her he pulled her into a hug, and held her there for some time. It started to rain, and he grabbed her face, kissing her with every last ounce of strength he had. They kissed for what seemed like hours, and when he pulled away from her, he smiled and said, "I cant see my life without you either, so i'm guessing i feel the same, but we cant be scared Haley. I want to be with you, but you living you're life in fear is going to make me fear you, because one day i'll wake up forty years old and wonder where my wife is..."

"I'm not going to be scared anymore." She smiled, letting her fingers dance upon his lips, "You're wife?"

He hesitated, but kissed her fingers, "I love you Haley James."

She beamed, "I love you Nathan Scott."

He took his championship ring off of his finger and placed it on her ring finger. "Will you marry me?"

Her eyes lit up, she jumped up and kissed him, "yes. Yes. Yes."

They ran out of the rain, fingers entwined, as Nathan muttered 'I'll get you a ring tomorrow.'

"I don't need a ring as long as I have you."

…………………….

_Life has many losses, but many triumphs. It has much sadness, but much happiness. One must find a path, in which he could live with reality and delusion. And then he could say that he honestly lived. _

_These are the memories of Lucas Scott. Life will never be the same. _

_…………………………_

E.N.D


End file.
